A few questions for Mom

QUESTION 1

When did you and Dad start living separate lives?

Why this matters: the divorce is based on the two of you living apart for at least 4 full years, even under the same roof. The lawyers' draft says 2022. If it was earlier, we can file soon. If it really was 2022, the filing has to wait until 4 years have passed. Please give the real date, not the one that sounds best. You'll be signing this as true.

Month

Year

Anything that helps pin it down? (e.g. "after Chinese New Year", "when I moved into the master bedroom")

QUESTION 2

Since then, did you two ever get back together as a couple, even for a short while?

Why this matters: a short time back together doesn't ruin the case, but the lawyers need to know so the dates add up. The occasional family dinner for the boys' sake is fine. That's already noted.

No Yes, for a while

If yes, roughly when and for how long?

QUESTION 3

Who pays the household bills at home?

Why this matters: the draft says you keep your money separate. If one person pays the household bills, that's fine. The sentence just needs to match what really happens.

I pay them We split them Each of us pays only our own things Dad pays them

Details, if it's a mix (utilities, conservancy, groceries)

QUESTION 4

How and when did you make it clear to Dad that the marriage was over?

Why this matters: the law looks for a point when at least one of you treated the marriage as finished. A conversation, a message, moving rooms: anything with a rough date helps.

QUESTION 5

Dad staying on after you take over the flat

The plan so far: Dad rents his room from you at 25% below the market rent for that room. The same valuer who values the flat sets the market rent. He stays one year, and you can renew it each year.

Is that plan OK with you?

Yes, that's fine I want to change something

Should his rent stay the same every year, or be looked at again each renewal?

Stay the same Look at it again each year

If you decide not to renew, how much warning should he get?

At least 3 months At least 1 month No set notice

Anything you'd change?

QUESTION 6

When should Dad's half of the flat pass to you?

Why this matters: the draft says within 6 months of the divorce being final. Waiting until Dad has booked his new flat keeps his priority for a flat near home. It costs you nothing except waiting longer before the flat is fully yours. There would still be a latest date, so it can't drag on.

Within 6 months, as drafted After Dad has booked his new flat, with a latest date Not sure, let's talk

If waiting: what's the latest date you'd accept?

QUESTION 7

Does your 2021 will leave Dad anything?

Why this matters: a divorce does not cancel anything a will leaves to the ex-husband. If it leaves Dad something you no longer want him to have, the will needs updating.

No Yes Not sure

If yes, what does it leave him?

QUESTION 8

The “Letter of Engagement and Warrant to Act”

What it is: the document the lawyers asked you to sign when you hired them. It has the title above and sets out their fee. Why it matters: John wants to check the fee covers the flat paperwork, so there are no surprise bills later.

Have you signed it?

Yes Not yet Not sure

What fee did they quote, if you remember?

I'll forward John a copy

ONE MORE THING

About your other property and savings

So the agreement can't be reopened later, it's safest for Dad to have been told about your other property and savings before he signs. That's not about giving him more. It's about making sure the deal holds.

John will talk this through with you before anything is signed.

LAST

Anything else you want John to know?

You can still change answers afterwards. Just come back to this page.

Sent. Thank you, Mom. John will be in touch.